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The Troublesome Triad

2/13/2020

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via GIPHY

This term referred to in Dr Stan Tatkin’s relationship work relates to memory, perception and communication. Misunderstandings in communication, lead to escalation in arguments. However did you know that your working memory and perception are actually influenced by your mood and current state of mind including lack of sleep or financial stress etc? This stress response is lightening fast and signals the brain to be on guard. In other words our threat response is up and ready to respond to perceived threat or a bias to what is “negative”. That discussion you are having with your loved one can become a disastrous reality, really quickly! Because we all have different perspectives based on different past experiences. Interestingly Stan liken’s the effects of the Troublesome Triad with those theme park fun house mirrors (you know those ones where your refection becomes all weird and contorted) where we can not see each other or ourselves clearly. No matter what misunderstandings or distortions regarding what “IS” reality you are experiencing between you, I want you to know we are all vulnerable to this.
Nothing takes away the raw need for what I refer to as In 2 Me C. Science now confirms that this “IS” a primal need. This primal need to be seen, known, heard and felt by our close others is where we meet in love and we really need exceptional communication skills to achieve this. Understanding how your brain works in communication can really help you navigate your way through complex Theme Park distorted  mirrors especially the Troublesome Triad ​
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    I write occasional blog posts to inspire others to stay connected to their authentic selves and the capacity for love and healing within personal relationships.

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